Me and my thoughts.

Thought #1

Hi there.

What can I say... That's a first one for me. Already feeling strange.

Feels like opening to a stranger is quite difficult. I'm in a strange situation where I'm not sure what's happening with me so I'm trying various things to flush out unnecessary load from my brain.

Lately I've been feeling strange.

It seems that I have hundreds of thoughts running through my mind. Thoughts that make my palms sweat, my feet sweat and breathing is hard. Was wondering for some time what's happening with me?

I do believe I know the answer. My past year was kind of dark. Lots of partying and abuse of illegal substances. Combined with lots of sport and new stressful job position.

What do you know... I've been paranoid that my heart has a disease. Been to doctors multiple times, checked it, done tests. Guess what? Nothing. Everything looks perfect. But that tiny, small, uncertain though 'WHAT IF??' keeps dragging me down. Makes me doubt the results that I get. I want to get rid of it..

Permanently.

Hopefully I can do it.

Hopefully opening up and writing my thoughts can keep me away from this.

I cross my fingers and I ask your support if somebody is reading this.

And no...I have no 'bad thoughts'. So far everything is okay! I'm looking for help as I understand I need it. It should be good, right?

Anyway! Quite open for my first post. Strange. But I feel kind of secure. Hopefully you feel the same about me.

Thanks! Have a great one and see you on the next one!

- 1 toast